I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
