My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
