I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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