How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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