Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
