i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
