You just made me feel so damn special
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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