if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
