Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
