I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
