the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
