so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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