I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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