how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
