Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
