No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
