what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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