I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
