I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Pants 0. Shit 1.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
