Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize