True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I see more hoeing in ur future
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