is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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