Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
