my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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