i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
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Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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