Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
