I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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