Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
