Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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