we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
