Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
