He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
How external is "for external use only"?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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