You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
