I could have mohawked her pubes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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