just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
