Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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