how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
