the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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