I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
