is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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