Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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