I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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