I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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