Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
