that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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