Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
