YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
