He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
