the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
