Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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