you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
