Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
