if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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