Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize