WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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