Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
