she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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