i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I understand Curling. That high.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
