we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
