when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
