hell yes lets make some ravioli
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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