i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
